Voldemort's Revenge
by kingstonavery
Summary: This story is a crack fic. It's not meant to be taken seriously. That said, Rose and her friends have an adventure that includes fierce magic, slugs, brainwashing, Tom Riddle the third, and of course, Sporks. Not to mention that dorky stalker kid. Disclaimer: written by my 6th grade self. Oh and a very, very brief mention of slash.


**Disclaimer:** In a perfect world, I still wouldn't own Harry Potter, because I couldn't make it nearly as awesome as J.K. Rowling did.

**Author's Note: **This is not meant to be a serious fic. It is meant to be awful. Trust me, I know it sucks, seriously, I wrote this in sixth grade. It's not that great. It's sort of ridiculous actually. Not meant to be taken seriously. At all. So flame away, I don't particularly care, I just posted this so that some of my friends can read it. And if you want a more serious fanfiction about the next generation, try looking at my other story 'A Trio At War Through Time' I think my writing has improved some since the sixth grade. Please don't judge my writing skills on this monstrosity! Oh, and my computer is working again, so expect an update of my other story soon! This is just something I found while going through old files. :) Please forgive any spelling mistakes, I promised my friends that I would update it as is. Except for a few name changes everything is the same as the original, even the stupid page breaks. And, yes, the part at the end is also from sixth grade. This was never supposed to be a serious story, even then. And for some reason my keyboard is refusing to type a simple 'g' without a fight. I guess my computer isn't working that well even while fixed...

**Voldemort's Revenge**

Rose Weasley was like SO mad at her cousin James. He just put like, HONEY in her hair. What a meanie! He is like SO off her Christmas list! So she turned him into a slug and left him that way in the hallway of the train.

After that fiasco. Rose went into a compartment with four people in it, Zooey and Lilith Phoenix, their step-brother Scorpius Malfoy (who everyone called Skip, skipo, Skippy (NOT Skippie, Skippie is LAME!) the skip dude, skiperdoodles, skiperson etc.), and Clara Zabini. Then some dude walked by and tried to use legilimency on Rose but she reversed it with and saw that his fake name was 'Jake' but his real name was Tom Riddle III. Who the heck was that?

They went to get sorted and then Lilith, Skippy, and Clara were in Slytherin, Zooey in Ravenclaw and her other cousin Albus in Gryffindor with his posse. That Tom dude was in Gryffindor to. Everyone, like stared at her because a Weasley in Slytherin was like unheard of! The hat didn't even touch her head but no big.

"Sup Skiperdoodles, Mauradoodles, Jessadoodles?" she asked Maura, Skipo, & Jess.

"Don't call me that," they said in unison.

"AHHHHHH!" yelled Rose.

"What happened?" asked Skiperson.

"Skip dude look! It's-It's a spoon!"

"There is soup for dinner you know," he said.

"SO? I CANNOT BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS A SPOON! I HAVE SPOONAPHOBIA! DO NOT LAUGH AT ME SCORPIUS CLEVELAND OHIO MASSACHUSETTS KANSAS CALIFORNIA ALBANY NEW YORK NEW YORK MAINE VERMONT CAT CHRISTOPHER TOPOGRAPHIC MAP POLARIS SIRIUS VENUS MERCURY MARS PLUTO DELL MAC PC MONITOR IDAHO NEVADA NEW MEXICO MEXICO MALFOY!" yelled Rose.

"Your parents had issues," said Clara.

Skip, Jessica, Maura, and Rose decided to run out of the hall screaming from the hall, grabbing some chicken and potatoes as they went.

"Lets from an anti-spoon club!" exclaimed Lilith.

"Okay," shrugged Clara and Skip. Rose grinned.

"My cousin Albus has Forkaphobia!" Rose told them. She checked her watch. Time for cake!

They swaggered into the hall.

"Sup homies did you miss us?" Rose asked.

"OH Rosie!" called Albus in a singsong voice, holding out a spoon. A challenge!

"Oh no you didn't! This means War!" she called, conjuring up a fork. They started a Spoon vs. Fork fight.

"FORKS RULE!"

"SPOONS FOREVER!"

"SPOONS SUCK!"

" FORKS ARE POINTY!"

"SPOONS ARE ROUND!"

"MEET THE SPORK!" yelled James (now un-slugified).

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !" yelled Albus.

"What did that poor fork ever do?!" cried out Rose.

Clara, Skip, Lilith, Zooey, Albus, Rose, Stand ins 73, 375, 9, 385, 205, 276, 4072, 687, 846, and a geeky looking dude fallowed.

"Who are you?" Rose asked the geeky looking kid.

"I play the dorky stalker who's secretly in live with the main character in most movies," he said.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"I play the spork creator! Nice change from the usual isn't it?" he said.

"But we cut that scene," frowned Lilith

The geeky guy gave them a dirty look and left.

After they left the Jake Guy (who was really Voldemort's son in case you didn't notice) brainwashed everyone. Then Clara, Skip, Lilith, Zooey, Albus, Rose, Stand ins 73, 375, 9, 385, 205, 276, 4072, 687 and 846 came back and channeled their power though the spork. Then Voldemort's son was dead everyone was freed and they were the saviors of the magical world, blah blah blah, Ten years later Albus and Scorpius get married, James marries Lilith, Rose marries Zooey and Clara is a professional Gymnast with fifty cats, and a husband named Legolas. Everyone is all rich and famous and stuff. Happily ever after the end.

THE END (Yes, I know it's redundant BUT WAIT)

LATER

Rose: that plot was stupid

Albus: And badly written.

Author: That's mean

Scorpius: Whatever

Lilith: SPORKS? Seriously lame!

Author: Everyone's a critic

Clara: Why was I so short?

Zooey: Because yo_u are_ short

Author: You people are weird.

Clara: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY _YOU PEOPLE_?

Author: Nothing, Nothing at all.

Clara: Better be. I'm watching you, all of you! No one's going to take my precious away from me!

Author: OK then. That's a wrap!

Clara: My precioussssssssssssss

Author: *facepalm*


End file.
